hello darling. it's finally time. i wanted to make this special for you. i know our anniversary is just a couple days away but i'm giving myself a week's worth of a head start for our very much special day. the amount of times i've thought about given this to you and the day finally comes excites me because i get to see how you'll react. it's really not much but i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed making it for you.
i love you darling. happy anniversary.
you are my entire world.

i know that this letter will begin like every other one you've received from me. you've probably braced yourself for it, maybe read enough of these words that they've blurred together in the back of your mind. maybe you've been grown tired of them by now. maybe not and you were always expecting something cheesy to come out of my mouth.but here's what i actually think: you'll never be able to get over such letters. i remember the night when we fought when you told me that in the time we were apart, all you could think about and do was sit with my previous letters, read them like they were still brand new each time. something shifted in me the afternoon that you said that. it was a clarity of everything that i was ever on the fence of. it's why i keep choosing you, it's why we made it this far. loving you, cherish you, moving forward with you. all this has been the easiest decision i've ever made had to make in life.i'm sorry if the start of this was a bit of a mood killer for our anniversary. bringing up a past fight like that and all. by the time you read this, i'll have already blown out the one year candle on our tiramisu cake before schrody tries to get to it first. though knowing her recent eating habits, she probably won't get very far.one year. we've actually made it to one whole year.when i think back on us, there is definitely one moment that stands out above mostly everything else. it was that camping trip. the weather was great, mood for it was right. and then i messed it up in a flash because of my own stupidity. but here's the thing, that's when it hit me. because suddenly this wasn't all just make believe and we weren't pretending to do what we were supposed to do as a couple. this wasn't some performance. we were actually in love. and i had just broken something in that moment, and all i could think about was how much that meant to you. then we went home that day and i've been thinking about it ever since. thinking about how i could make it right again. i thought about how i could show you that messing up doesn't change what this is. what you are to me. so i got us two tickets somewhere. and i made you a bunch of silly little coupons too, things you can cash in with me whenever you like. just my way of spoiling you a little, like you deserve to be spoiled. because that's what you do when you love someone. eventually you try to make up for the moments you can't get back.time feels irrelevant when it comes to you. i've wondered how much we'll change in five years from now, but there's something about you that will never wither. i hope you're not afraid of growing older beside me, because i'll be there every back aching step of the way. i hope your smile lines eventually get deeper from laughing at jokes, at life, at us. i hope time is kind to you the way it's been kind enough to give me you. what i'm asking of the years ahead is simple: let our love continue to bloom and to let it mature alongside us.there are so many reasons why i love you. i could spend hours listing them and still fall short of what it actually feels like to be in love with someone like you. if i could go back knowing everything i know now, i think i'd change the pace. i'd let you fall for me more slowly, savor each moment instead of having to feel rushed towards whatever comes next. i'd love you at a speed that matched what we've build, not the urgency of what i felt. but i wouldn't change you. i wouldn't change the way i loved you through all of it. the ups  and downs, all the uncertain spaces in between. i loved you then. i love you now. and i wouldn't need convincing of that. i'm sure of what i am sure of and there's nothing in this world that could ever make me regret ever choosing you.it's rare to find someone who makes me feel brand new and whole, someone who brings the light back into you that you thought had dimmed. and that is exactly what you've done for me. every morning i wake up looking forward to what's ahead because of you. every night that i'm wrapped in your arms is where i've felt safest. with you, i feel complete. my mind is a minefield of what ifs and scenarios that can't compare to others, the kind of fear that keeps me up at night, and that's always been a future without you. but you've always been there to talk me through it and let me know that you would always choose me.i want us to be good for each other this year. this will be our third year of knowing each other. can you honestly believe that? let's leave behind that weight we've both had to carry from last year. the pain, the guilt, all the things that dragged us down that seemed to complicate everything. i truly can't imagine a life without you. the thought of losing you because i failed to love you the way you needed. it terrifies me beyond belief. i promise that i will do better. i promise to keep trying and to never give up on you. and if you ever get scared, if you start to doubt whether this is worth it, whether we're still what we used to be.. then find me. come find me wherever you are. i promise i'll take you by the hand and remind you of how we got here. i'll tell you the story of how it all began, how my feelings for you developed overtime, of how a shortage of tissues and a moment of grace that you'd actually get my sense of humor led us to this. one whole year later and we're still together.happy anniversary, my loving skrunkly. here's to growing older with you, to watching your hair turn to salt and pepper, and the lines on your face to deepen. to becoming wrinkled and weathered and beautiful together. i love you.i love you to saturn and never, ever, ever back.there's so much i want to tell you. words i've been holding onto, waiting for the right moment. but that moment isn't now. not quite yet.for now, let's enjoy this celebration of our one year. read through these letters over and over again when you need to look back on how much this grouch of a man loves you wholeheartedly. look for the little things i tucked between the lines even if they're small and imperfect. i know it's not polished the way i'd prefer. i'm retiring my perfectionism for one day to let things be as they are, because you've always had  this way of making me feel like imperfections doesn't matter. like something slightly off centered doesn't ruin the whole picture. you'd tell me it's the thought that counts, that any gesture, no matter how rough around the edges means something simply because it came from me.and you were right about that. you've always been right about that. and i'm finally starting to believe it too.and one more thing before i forget. the next few pages are a bit of a mess. the papers aren't in order. i apologize for that.